Inspired by Fraught Mummy, and after my own rather strange week, here are my postcards from the edge.
I know that you have a busy and important job, but did you really have to spend the whole of the month away leaving me to deal with starting a new job, 4 weeks of bloody hard rowing training and a toddler to get up, get out and put to bed on my own each day? You may have noticed that our phone calls about what a brilliant time you are having in various overseas locations are getting shorter and shorter.
Yours, tired and feeling a bit stressed.
PS. And it had to be this week that the bloody car decided to break down didn't it.
Dear security guard at the library
Toddlers make noise. Especially when they are a bit tired and it is near lunchtime. Looking sternly at me and following us around is actually worse than your colleague who asked me to leave last time. If you didn't want children to make noise while their parents check out the books then you shouldn't have such a brilliant children's section (for which I am very grateful).
Yours, the mother of a normal child
Dear HK bus authorities
I know the reason you have so many buses is because the more you run the more money you are allowed to make, but wouldn't it make sense to put the stops for all the buses that go to the same place in roughly similar locations? I don't understand why I have to walk 200m to two different bus stops to get two buses that run to the same place and are operated by the same company.
Yours, a bit tired and hot
Dear darling daughter
When Mummy tells you things, it helps if you do them. Like not trying to eat your shoes after taking them off in the taxi, or pulling at the door handle in the taxi while we are moving, or having a screaming fit in the middle of the library because I wanted to check out the books so we could read them at home. There was a reason why you didn't get your beloved pizza for lunch and we came home instead, but I am not sure you have quite made the link.
Yours, loving but fraught mummy
Dear NOW broadband
Thank you so very, very much for giving us the full package of BBC channels without charging us for them. I don't know how or why you chose to do that a few weeks ago but Cbeebies has changed my life.
Yours, joining the ranks of mothers who realise that TV is an excellent babysitter and that you can get over the guilt quite easily when you need time to take a shower
The sarcastic cynic. Or something like that
5 weeks ago