Monday, August 17, 2009

One bite or two

While I pat myself on the back for raising a confident, independent little girl, sometimes confidence can go a bit too far. I came home yesterday to pick Eve up from the playground to find out from our nanny that she had bitten one of her friends who wouldn't share a toy with her. This comes on the back of Eve pushing other children at the pool at the weekend. This new aggression is an unwelcome piece of toddlerhood that I had hoped would pass us by.

I must admit, however, that I am a bit stuck as to what to do about it. I have done all the sensible things, told her it hurts, said no, removed her to another place when she does it. However, she still does it. A glimmer of hope comes, however, in that the has bitten the Boy a few times but only me and her nanny once. H and I have little patience with such behaviour whereas Daddy is not quite so firm. Clearly consequences and discipline are the name of the game.

Which leads me onto the second dilemma. Managing a set of 3 carers, all of whom have to have the same consistent approach. H is a bit too soft on Eve, being more used to Chinese families where the children are rarely disciplined by the help. After a quick chat yesterday, H and I have agreed that if Eve pushes then she gets one more chance and then gets taken home. Biting and she goes home straight away. If she snatches then we take whatever she has snatched away and we do a time out. So far so good.

The Boy, however, needs a bit more work. He doesn't understand the need for consistency. Hence a stupid argument at the weekend. We were at the pool. The baby pool has shade, but the big pool has not. The Boy told Eve that if she wanted to play in the big pool then she would have to wear her hat. After we had removed her from the big pool 3 times (she refused to wear her hat) the Boy gave in saying "well she has a lot of sun tan lotion on". I then spent the better part of 10 minutes explaining child psychology 101 and that if you set a rule then you HAVE to stick to it. In a huff I advised him to pick his rules more carefully next time.

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