One year on

A year ago I won the antenatal double sculls at our rowing club's members only regatta. I good friend gamely agreed to row with me and we won this class of one.

A year later I rowed in an altogether different crew, with A who is a brilliant sculler, and we won the open double sculls.

One year ago I was 6 months pregnant. Shit.

Freshers

I think I have mentioned before but when I was an Uni I worked in my long holidays as a nanny to two twin girls from when they were 5 until they were 8, H and C. H and C are lovely. They were my bridesmaids and we still keep in touch. They are my youngest, and probably most photographed, friends on Facebook. I am immensely proud of both of them as they are down to earth, intelligent and very well rounded girls. They are also blond, thin and pretty.

H and C have just started University and I found myself yesterday looking at photos of them during freshers week at their respective UK universities. I found this an odd experience. Firstly, it was a bit like looking at photos of my freshers week. The girls have all made lots of effort to look good and seem to be wearing the same types of cocktail dresses as I did, the boys look too young to be there and desperate for a shag, and everyone looks a bit drunk. It looks fun.

Then I realised that when I was in their position they were 5 years old. What must feel like a lifetime ago to the twins (who on earth remembers anything from when they were 5?!) seems like yesterday to me. I will be 49 when Eve is in the same position - and it seems frighteningly too soon.

Independent woman

Last night, for the first time, Eve slept in her own room. It has been a long time coming. In part this is because of sheer laziness on the part of the Boy and myself. When we bought our flat in HK we did not have a baby and didn't seriously think we would have one, so knocked out the second bedroom and opened it up onto the whole flat for extra space. Meaning we only had one bedroom left. Oops.

So it has meant that we have had to sort of rebuild a wall, get blackout and sound proofing curtains so that Eve isn't woken up by us having dinner. It has taken ages, but finally we are ready.

Also, however, there was an emotional reason for me. I like that the first thing Eve sees when she wakes up is her parents, that I can hear her snuffle overnight (and sometimes snore - she gets that from me).

But, now she is sleeping through reliably (yey for controlled crying) I had run out of reasons to keep her with us so yesterday, after a couple of trial runs for nap time, we popped her into her own room at night.

Of course she was fine. I seem to be raising a pretty bomb proof child and it probably helped that she went to bed later than usual so was really tired. I, on the other hand, sobbed my heart out looking at the space where her cot had been in our room. I freely admit this is not rational, she was only in the next room, but it seemed like such a milestone - my baby is growing up.

On the positive side it now means that I get my bedroom back for the types of things that bedrooms are supposed to be for. See my previous post.

Indecent proposal

WARNING - Mum, you probably don't want to read this.

A couple of nights ago I had gone to bed before the Boy. In the dark I grabbed Eve out of her cot and fixed her on for her quick bedtime snack and I dozed off.

Five minutes later the Boy came to bed and whispered in my ear "fancy a shag" whereupon I asked whether he would rather wait until after our daughter had stopped sucking at my boob.

I think he may have thrown up. I, however, giggled quite loudly.

Protection

After the pregnancy guilt (don't drink, don't smoke, don't swear, don't drink the water, or eat the food, and for goodness sake don't have sex - it's what got you into this mess), and then the new Mum guilt (must breastfeed, don't leave your baby to cry, do leave your baby to cry, have a routine, don't feed solids too early, too late) you then get the safety guilt.

Once Eve started moving under her own steam we dashed out to get all manner of protecting safety gadgets for the flat. We have those funny plastic covers for the plugs, little soft plastic things for the corners of our cupboards that are built into the wall to carefully end at baby head height, and things to stop Eve opening the kitchen cupboard where the bleach is kept. Once we had bought the safety items the Boy and I spent one Sunday morning while Eve was napping fixing them to everything.

The first issue was that I managed to break the one on the kitchen cupboard. No sooner had the Boy spent ages fiddling with it to get it in the right place - think about it, you are fixing something in a cupboard than only really fits when the cupboard is closed - than I went to get out a bin liner and snapped the whole thing off. I tried to fix it, but gave up after about 3 minutes and the broken safety gadget now sits on our kitchen window sill until we either put it back on or throw it away.

The plug sockets are still in, but I always forget to put them back in after we have used the plugs.

The best, however, are the corner covers. Eve thinks they are a brilliant thing, and rips them off and plays with them. She loves how they stick to her fingers and she finds it hilarious. However, being a good Mummy I take them off her each time and fix them back on.

Tonight, when I was getting ready for Eve's bath I watched her pull off the corner protector, drop it under the cupboard whereupon she reached under the cupboard to get it, hitting her head on the corner in the process. She didn't seem in the least bit bothered so the corner protector is now on the floor waiting for Eve to come and play with it.

OUCH!

After all the hassle of breastfeeding to start with, now Eve is 9 months I find that I am still giving up my boobs for feeding. It is now just twice a day, and it is pure laziness (the feeds come first thing in the morning and before she goes to sleep) that it is simply easier to breastfeed still. If the truth be known, it also means I get a nice little nap or lie in while she feeds too.

I had always said that once Eve became mobile I would stop feeding. She is mobile now, very mobile, and happily crawls over to me if she is in bed and thinks nothing of grabbing and helping herself. Yes, it is a bit strange, but in the great scheme of what me and my body have been through this doesn't even make the top ten.

I also said I would stop when Eve got teeth, but now she has 4 through it hasn't really changed how she eats and there is no nibbling.

Except Eve has a bit of a sniffle at the moment. Well, like most children she has a sniffle all the time. Tonight I was lying down, feeding her, in a nice dark room and gradually drifting off to sleep. When Eve sneezed. Think about what you do when you sneeze. You bite down.

I screamed and, to her credit, she was not diverted from the task at hand and stayed latched on (nothing, but nothing, comes between my daughter and her food). I, however, was in a lot of pain. I muttered ow, ow a lot and Eve kept on sucking away happily. At which point all sorts of horrible thoughts went through my head. What was the damage? Was I bleeding? Was Eve actually drinking blood mixed in with her milk? Would I find in later life she would join some odd vampire cult in Slough? Had any part of me ended up somewhat detached?

Admittedly I could have just stopped her drinking and checked, but such is my maternal instinct to keep feeding my child, and possibly because I was still a bit sleepy, it didn't occur to me.

Finally she finished. I popped her in the cot, and stared down in the light of the bathroom to find no major damage done.

What I am wondering now is whether this could be the final nail in the breastfeeding coffin.

Zzzzzzz

Eve is sleeping through - 4 nights now. Controlled crying was miserable but seems to be working. I am finally getting some sleep - it only took 9 months!