Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The wonders of ancient science

As I progress through the pregancy, I find I am increasingly impressed by how brilliantly my body is preparing me for the bump coming into my life. I know this sounds a little bit stupid, I mean of course my body is designed for this, but as someone who has been obsessed with pushing her body to its limits and slightly beyond through sport, I am rather curious about what is happening without me putting in any effort. It's a bit like watching some sort of alien creature pupate in a film (I watched Gremlins last night), and I find it all rather weird and fascinating.

Let's, for the moment, leave aside all the obvious weird stuff. The fact that my hips are widening (ick - will I ever be able to get back into my Hugo Boss suit?), that my chest is doing something rather unflateringly described in pregnancy books as "engorging", or that I have developed a rather pathetic slow wiggle better suited to pushing a buggy than striding down a catwalk. It's the other clever stuff that I find so interesting.

Take for example, the way in which I am being nicely prepared for never sleeping through the night again and travelling around with the bump. I now have, as my Aussie rowing coach so delicately put it a "bladder the size of a budgie's" (go on, if you say it with an Aussie accent it sounds almost funny). This essentially means that I need to go to the loo every 90 minutes - including all night. As a result I have developed an uncanny ability to get up, half asleep, perform a task that needs a bit of coordination in the dark, and struggle back to bed and fall asleep immediately. Clearly all useful skills to be put to good use in three months time. Another interesting event this has prepared me for is an intimate knowledge of each and every public loo (and therefore changing facility) in Hong Kong. Clearly useful for outings with bump, or publishing a helpful map.

For anyone who has ever even seen a baby, I need not tell you how effective being knackered all the time is at preparing me for the big day.

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