Firstly, thanks for all the supportive comments and emails, and sorry for worrying everyone with the last couple of posts. I had a classic case of the "baby blues" and it was nasty. I even went to the point of finding an online test for postnatal depression. According to my score I should have been committed! It has lifted almost as fast as it descended and I am feeling much better now. I have learnt to let go, not be such a perfectionist and realised that my best is good enough even if my daughter is not conforming to any particular programme or routine yet.
We have also got to the bottom (quite literally) of the trouble. Darling Eve has the dual combination of nappy rash and bad wind. This means that she wakes up in pain whenever she poos, wees or finishes digesting. This means that the poor petal is in pain a lot of the time and screaming as a result. Then she wakes herself up, and wants feeding. As a result gone are the nice two or three hourly feeds of 3 days ago, and in are hourly feeds and lots of nappy changing and cuddling. A week ago I would be throwing myself off the balcony by now, but it is testimony to how far I have come from the baby blues that I now pick her up, feed her, walk her around the flat and just get on with it. She will get over the nappy rash in time, she will grow out of the wind, and then start eating and sleeping properly. Until then, this is just how things are.
It is such a relief to be back to normal again.
In other news, there are slope works just behind the flat so I have a pneumatic drill competing against Eve's screaming for the most irritating noise all day. You couldn't make it up.
He's pushing my buttons
2 weeks ago