Friday, January 25, 2008

Shallow Al

As I continue to get a grip on both my sanity and this whole motherhood thing, I find that little bits of my former non-mummy self are making a welcome return into my life. It was, therefore, with some joy laced with fear that this morning I left Eve for the first time since she was born. For the past 3 weeks, Eve and I have been together 24/7 and now that her physical umbilical cord has fallen off I thought I should make an effort to break the emotional one that has seen me with her all the time.

I had to go to the doctors this morning, and then Eve had an appointment afterwards. I arranged for the Boy to look after Eve for the 90 minutes I would be out of the house at my own appointment. I don't quite know what horror I thought would befall my daughter in this time. She was fed just before I left (and I had left gallons of expressed milk anyway in case she woke up), and with the Boy and H at home she would be perfectly well looked after.

However, it was really hard to leave. I took the bus, which I always enjoy doing, stuck the ipod on really loud to drown out my own fears and apprehensions, and tried to forget that I had left my darling daughter behind.

It was actually rather nice as I experienced the real world just as I used to and got some time not to think about the next feed or what every gurgle meant or when she would wake up and need a cuddle. Of course I called home as soon as I got to the doctor's - to find predictably that Eve had been fast asleep since I left.

Of course having her back in my arms was the nicest feeling, but I confess to rather enjoying my "me" time on my own.

The whole experience was made even more lovely by the fact that I can now get into my favourite pre-pregnancy jeans and tight tops and not look like a moose. There is still a bit of excess skin and my muscle tone is shot, but for someone who gave birth less than 3 weeks ago I am looking pretty good! And I got to wear my lovely black high heel boots too and tottered rather than waddled for the first time in 3 months.

Small things make me happy, whether dressed in pink or otherwise.

4 comments:

Grande Poobah said...

small things are all there is really. enjoy!

BTW I shall be available for coffees, chats, light shopping, watching TV at yours, whatever for the 3 days before CNY.... Keep me in mind..... Don't think I'd be too hot at the nappy end of things... Naturally I'd give it a go.....

LottieP said...

I thought you looked great. I've always been a believer in the transformative power of a pair of high heels...

LottieP said...

Great post title, by the way. As someone who is proud to consider herself shallow (especially when it comes to really important things), I approve.

Mummy said...

There are things that the Boy and I will teach our daughter. He will teach her the finer points of the offside rule (very important for dating I always found), how to rig a boat and basic motorcycle maintainence. I will teach her about shoes, how to dress for your shape, and how to scull (I scull better than the Boy!).