Tuesday, June 9, 2009

And then there were four

I got an SMS last week from P, a good friend who I was pregnant with the first time around. P was brilliant to be pregnant with because she was as much of a workaholic as I was, loved her sport and her wine, and was all a bit apprehensive about having a baby - just like me. It was P who I got stranded with after our steering broke while paddling in a canoe during a typhoon. We bonded. We had the little ones just 6 days apart, and I spent quite a lot of time with her when Eve was first born, chatting while we fed the babies and moaning about lack of sleep.

Anyway, she is pregnant again. I am really happy for her. This also takes the number of women I was pregnant at the same time as first time around who are now at it again to four.

This also means that I have now hit that stage where pretty much everyone expects me to have another baby myself. Twice in the past 2 days I have been asked when I plan to have the next one. To be honest, I don't know when or if I will. I love Eve to death and have a lot of fun. But just one enables me to still do lots of things I like doing (work, rowing, seeing friends without children) and still feel that I get enough quality time to enjoy her. I am not sure I could do it all with 2. I am also not sure I am prepared for the whale-like status, sleepless nights, leaking boobs and all the other icky stuff that goes with having a baby again.

Or does this make me selfish?

Answers on a postcard please.


Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

I reckon the mistake you made was getting yourself out of whale like status. See I just rocked on through, kept the whale look and figured I could lose it when I'd had number 2. Ah. Yes. Hmmm. Never mind.

Ultimately, it is up to you. It is lovely to have one on one time and you lose it when you have more. I never get my two on their own. But the flip side is they have each other and their conversations are a gem to listen to. You'll choose what works best for you, and that'll be the right choice. x

Anonymous said...

Even though I have a sister, I was essentially an only child.

I look at my two, fighting, laughing, playing together and I think it's great.

But as BiB says, 1 is great too. It's all really down to you...

Sabina said...

More more more! But then I am biased with my 'Irish triplets' (you remember, one a year). If for no other reason, do it for Eve's sake. Regardless how you may feel about your own sibling(s), the actual fact you have them is something to treasure.

I look at mine and even with the time, effort and tantrums involved, I have never regretted having more than one. When you see them together and the cameraderie that exists between brothers and sister, you realise this goes beyond what a parent can give a child.

Anonymous said...

Whatever works for you is the best choice, we're all different.
Pros and cons on both sides. I sometimes envy how much time/energy/money some of my friends with one child have compared to frazzled, stretched in every direction me, but they say they envy me sometimes with all the noise and the energy and life in the house.

Mummy said...

BIB - I have sadly got back to my old shape, but I am missing the bigger boobs so maybe that is enough incentive to do it again.

Anonymous - I had a sister and pretty much didn't get on until we were adults. I hated the fact she was older, prettier, taller, blonder than me and she was not best pleased at having an annoying little sister.

Sabina - if I could run my household with the level of efficiency you manage then I would do it tomorrow. But I suspect I can't!

Misbehaving - welcome, and thanks for the comment. You make a good point. Much of my hesitation is linked to being able to spend lots of time with Eve but still have a lot of "me" time. But then I feel selfish and guilty! No doubt I will decide at some point soon what to do.