I had my first training waddle this morning. I got up early, donned my usual running garb, grabbed the ipod and set off on my former running route.
It just felt so very wrong.
For a start, walking to music is pointless. You are never in time and the beat is always too fast. I tried everything - 80s cheese, 90s indie, even a chilled out Buddha Bar mix, but nothing had the right velocity for waddling at speed.
Then there was the humiliation of people jogging past me. It's not that I am competitive or anything, but I hate someone overtaking me. Every time someone did I would find myself speeding up into a jog, until my muscles reminded me why I had to walk in the first place.
Finally, I have become one of the group of walkers who, in my area, tend to be either grossly overweight bankers walking with their lithe young girlfriends (reminding me of a story from LottieP about Mrs Merton interviewing Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee and asking "So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?), or old Chinese ladies with a bit of a stoop. Is this what the next 9 weeks holds for me? If so, where can I get a lithe young man to walk with me?
He's pushing my buttons
2 weeks ago