Things you shouldn't do with a toddler

I am slowly creating a list of things one should not do with a toddler. Screeching up the chart to number 1, even surpassing the "don't leave your toddler on a sofa, leave the room and expect her not to fall off and hurt herself" comes one from the Boy yesterday.

Do not fling your toddler down a water slide at the pool, head first, when her mother is shouting "don't" and is not even at the bottom to catch her. Apparently he didn't see the signs in bright red saying children under 12 should only go down with an adult, or the other red sign saying it was dangerous to go down head first. Eve, completely unimpressed at the slide and going head first into a deep pool of water only to be pulled out by a worried, and angry, Mummy was not very happy. She stuck to me, limpet like, and refused to go anywhere near her father until we were a long way from the pool. Sensibly so.